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Post by anuradha on Jul 16, 2010 15:35:21 GMT 5.5
Welll gr8! answer Ashok.. nice to see that gujjar boys respect girls so much.. so u mean to say girls has to pay the price ... hhmmmm gone r those dayz bro...
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Post by sunnygujjar on Jul 29, 2010 19:45:48 GMT 5.5
why every people kill own daugther ,he kill to boy also
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Post by Arora on Feb 12, 2011 21:05:09 GMT 5.5
Its great to know that people are even discussing and trying to find out the solution, I am a punjabi guy and my beloved is gujar and they are pretty modern and her parents dont have any issues with our marriage...the only problem is their relatives so called samaj... they dont have enough guts to go against them...i understand all of us have to live within the society and aged persons (40+) need to have enough guts to go against them as they born and brought up in such an enviromnent...
bt my gujjar brothers/sisters (youngsters) need to adapt the changes and give equal rights to choose your life partners and give more priorities to good human beings instead of giving importance to caste and culture..
I wish my gujjar bro nd sis, try to change the going on things and helps religion to get back its fame, which few peoples are spoiling...
Thanks GA
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Post by Guest on Jul 11, 2011 22:15:17 GMT 5.5
Hello Though I am new in this particular site, and dont have any kind of relation with Haryan. But yes, I want to talk about the Honour Killing. It is not happening only in Haryana, but in each community and in every culture, girls and specially girls are assumed something like the wealth of the community, and yes everyone will be proud and honoured to have such a wealth. here I want to make my point clear that the girl is assumed as wealth, as "commodity" but not as human being. Now what can be the reason behind considering girl as commodity but not boys. With the beginning of human society, it is belief, that there was agreat respect of woman. As she was the one who gave birth to the coming generation of the specie. Everyone was able to see that yes she is mother (at that time as no one was there to keep check on the sexual behaviour of the girl) no idea about the father. Later on Man start recognizing about his importance to have an offspring. He wanted to challenge woman hegemony on whole of this process. therefore to control her, his first step was to control women sexuality. If we try to analyse different culture or religion that exist in this world, we can find hundreds of provision for controlling girls sexuality. Taking example of India, there isn't any Goddess who is without male. kali is the one who don't have any male to control; her, therefore she is so "VINASHAK" and for controlling her in the last a male need to take an initiative. If we talkk about Durga, she don't have her own existence but she is a blend of Kali, parvati and one more, which I am unable to recall abhi. The mother of gods were considered as virgins, and giving birth was something because of supernatural power (mother of Jesus, Lord RAMA, lord KRishna). Considering girl as Devi is something delimitizing her to her home boundaries which is actually her temple. And when we talk about that why is there problem when a girl married to someone inferior or belong to other caste, then here it is the problem of purity polloution of the community which works in caste system. Girls are assumed as the opening gate of the community, through which impure blood can enter in the community and to stop these kind of impurities it became immediate urgent to control the sexuality of the girl. And if a girl let those impurities to enter, then for purity of the community it became must to kill the girl. On the other hand when boy do such kind of thing, he is not letting anything in, but actually making some one else also a part of that community, which is unfortunately not same for the girl. iT will not be too much to say, but if we start observing minor to major processes going around us, in the society, there is a large scale conspiracy done years and years ago by male members of the society, which mentally, physically, emotionally and socially controlling all the social processes (may be dowry or sati) and controlling girls sexuality
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Post by A on Sept 24, 2011 21:21:10 GMT 5.5
@ the person who replied above me: brother how can a girl be the open gate of purity pollution. For e.g. If a gujjar boy marries a non gujjar girl and they have offsprings then also the offsprings are not pure (according to u) and if a gujjar girl marries a non gujjar boy then hoew come it pollutes the purity of gujjars? It means it is the boy which is so called "the gate for purity pollutants" ... Even u have to agree with me coz it does make some sense over what u have said. Please please please don't take it personally but whoever here has mentioned that even other castes do honor killing, I request then to update the statistics in terms of percentages or pie chart whatever they are comfortable with. Let us talk analytically. I agree that there must be honor killings in, say, bhraman family .. But if u pick up 100 bhraman families and take out percentage of honor killing then it will definitely be less than 1%. Whereas, if talk about the same for a gujjar family then it will be quite higher. Its not like I am an anti-gujjar guy, its just I want the things to be changed in a positive way. The world is changing and everyone has to change accordingly otherwise conflicts will be there throughout the life.
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Post by A on Sept 24, 2011 21:23:13 GMT 5.5
@ the person who replied above me: brother how can a girl be the open gate of purity pollution. For e.g. If a gujjar boy marries a non gujjar girl and they have offsprings then also the offsprings are not pure (according to u) and if a gujjar girl marries a non gujjar boy then hoew come it pollutes the purity of gujjars? It means it is the boy which is so called "the gate for purity pollutants" ... Even u have to agree with me coz it does make some sense over what u have said. Please please please don't take it personally but whoever here has mentioned that even other castes do honor killing, I request then to update the statistics in terms of percentages or pie chart whatever they are comfortable with. Let us talk analytically. I agree that there must be honor killings in, say, bhraman family .. But if u pick up 100 bhraman families and take out percentage of honor killing then it will definitely be less than 1%. Whereas, if talk about the same for a gujjar family then it will be quite higher. Its not like I am an anti-gujjar guy, its just I want the things to be changed in a positive way. The world is changing and everyone has to change accordingly otherwise conflicts will be there throughout the life.
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Post by maheshpanwar on Jul 9, 2012 22:13:47 GMT 5.5
Dear all, There are wrong part of intercaste/religion marriages which needs to be understand first of all. Though right to marry age as per our law is 18 years but it is not right age to take such a big step. In most of the cases it proves to be failure as all so called love marriages happens in teenage only. Because such an immature decision will not last long and is bound to fail as its foundation is not strong enough. Such marriages are result of lust (sorry for using this word). End result of these marriages is divorce which happen within a few months in some cases. Which is the main cause of concern. If someone see these kind of things in society he/she will support the honor killing to deter the future mishappenings because he loves his daughter/sister most and do not want to see her suffering , which I personally feel is not the solution. I have seen in my life such cases. After loosing the parents girls becomes dependent on the boy and get suffering in life. If they could have married with the consent of their family and anything goes wrong, their family will stand by them and the other party (boy’s family will think twice before leaving her alone. Have anybody heard about honor killing of a doctor, engineer, IAS/IPS etc because their decision if firm and after a long experience of life and of equal status, which is not what is shown in our movies, a rickshaw puller marrying with a queen.
As Mr. arora appeared from somewhere and asking about the guts of Gujjar community hurts the feeling and real cause of concern. If he had married a Gujjar girl is not a great achievement he has done and can’t claim that his community is free from this problem. So better you refraim yourself from instigating other community by putting such remarks . People who does not have his own history will try to spoil the history of others. Commonsense. All shold understand and should not be carried away by such mischievous peoples. Be wise and get the lost glory back dear all.
Warm regards...
Mahesh Panwar
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Post by shivkantsinghgujar on Jul 12, 2012 1:26:19 GMT 5.5
I think every comunity has got its own tradition but killing in the name of honour can't be justified any way as it not only takes life but neither does any right to the honour of the family practising it, "as two wrongs can't make a right " . If anyone especialy a girl makes up her mind for an intercaste mariage she must make sure that the guy she chosed is a good person because in case of intercaste affair if there is any trouble to her then comunity can't help as the other person will not abide by its decision , so make right choice and be happy. And for those questioning guts of my comunity i would like to tell him that the case of honour killing is not severe in our comunity and moreover we don't kill girls in name of dowry nor there is that practice of female feoticide in our samaj like in other comunity .
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Post by sonu1983 on Jul 22, 2012 23:32:37 GMT 5.5
parents choose good life partner always and beleive in your elders n parents, its attaraction which we called love, you can love to your arrange partner after marriage, give respect to your parents n community always.
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Post by KAMLESH KAANWAR on Aug 6, 2012 6:24:22 GMT 5.5
I absolutely agree with Mr. Harshana and sisters. This is not only related to Gurjars, it is a firing topic of whole country. From J&K to Kanyakumari only girls have to tolerate in this awful matter. In my view ultimately when our all societies will get saturated position this matter will vanished it self. Castism is very narrow minded thing in this 21 century. If we do not want to let our sisters marry with other caste boy, then we have to manage a proper environment in our home & surrounding, & we have to also get together our sisters to oppose this. Sparta was very small kingdom in Greece but their people were very brave because their ladies were support them in every fight because those ladies have a pride as a spartian. Success of gurjars is also based on their gurjaris support. I think that if Gurjaris and other community girls have convinced for esteem of their caste. If our girls respect our caste then I think that such problems finished automatically. So develop honour for cast in our sisters because they also hold this caste as equal as boys.
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